Conflict

In the course of a week, we are all involved in numerous situations that need to be dealt with through negotiation. Such situation occur at work and at home, on vacation and on a trip. A conflict or negotiation situation is one in which there is a conflict of interests or what one wants is not necessarily what the other wants and where both sides prefer to search for solutions, rather than giving in or breaking-off contact.

Few of us enjoy dealing with with conflicts-either with bosses, peers, subordinates, friends, or strangers. This is particularly true when the conflict becomes hostile and when strong feelings become involved. Resolving conflict can be mentally exhausting and emotionally draining.

But it is important to realize that conflict that requires resolution is neither good nor bad. There can be positive and negative outcomes as seen in the box below. It can be destructive but can also play a productive role for you personally and for your relationships-both personal and professional. The important point is to manage the conflict, not to suppress conflict and not to let conflict escalate out of control. Many of us seek to avoid conflict when it arises but there are many times when we should use conflict as a critical aspect of creativity and motivation.

People constantly negotiate and resolve conflict throughout all of their professional and personal life. Given that organizations are becoming less hierarchical, less based on positional authority, less based on clear boundaries of responsibility and authority, it is likely that conflict will be an even greater component of organizations in the future. Studies have shown that negotiation skills are among the most significant determinants of career success. While negotiation is an art form to some degree, there are specific techniques that anyone can learn. Understanding these techniques and developing your skills will be a critical component of your career success and personal success.

Major Causes of Conflict

Opposing interests (or what we think are opposing interests) are at the core of most conflicts. In a modern complex society, we confront these situations many times a day. The modern organization adds a whole new group of potential causes of conflict that are already present:

• competition over scarce resources, time
• ambiguity over responsibility and authority:
• differences in perceptions, work styles, attitudes, communication problems, individual differences
• increasing interdependence as boundaries between individuals and groups become increasingly blurred
• reward systems: we work in situations with complex and often contradictory incentive systems
• differentiation: division of labor which is the basis for any organization causes people and groups to see situations differently and have different goals
• equity vs. equality: continuous tension exists between equity (the belief that we should be rewarded relative to our relative contributions) and equality (belief that everyone should receive the same or similar outcomes).

The Five Modes of Responding to Conflict

It is useful to categorize the various responses we have to conflict in terms of two dimensions:

1. how important or unimportant it is to satisfy our needs and
2. how important or unimportant it is to satisfy the other person's needs.

Answering this questions results in the following five modes of conflict resolution. None is these is "right" or "wrong". There are situations where any would be appropriate. For example, if we are cut off driving to work, we may decide "avoidance" is the best option. Other times "avoidance" may be a poor alternative. Similarly, collaboration may be appropriate sometimes but not at other times.

• physical separation
• hierarchy (the boss decides)
• bureaucratic approaches (rules, procedures)
• integrators and third-party intervention
• negotiation
• rotating members
• interdependent tasks and superordinate goals ("We are all in this together...")
• intergroup and interpersonal training